Friday, June 28, 2013

*Face Palm*

Kids are frustrating. And annoying.

There. I said it. 

Sure, they're also hilarious, and lovable, and amazing, and just all kinds of wonderful, but they also have a way of wanting you to bang your head through a glass window.

Take my 2 1/2 year old daughter. She never.stops.talking. Ever. And it's not fun talk - it's "Mommy? What's this? What's this? What's this, mommy? Mommy? Mom? What's this? What is it, Mom? Mom? What's this?"

And keep in mind, each time that question mark is shown, I answer with, (for example), "that's Ranch dressing, Aryn. Ranch dressing. It's Ranch. Aryn, stop asking me the same question. It's Ranch dressing. ARYN! STOP ASKING ME THE SAME QUESTION!"

*Face palm*

And then, somehow, whenever I start nursing her brother, she ALWAYS has to go to the bathroom.

Me: "Aryn, do you have to go pee?"
Aryn: "No."
Me: "Aryn, do you have to poop?"
Aryn: "NO, MOM!"
*start nursing Lucas*
Aryn: "Mommy? I have to pee/poop."
*face palm*

It never fails. People have witnessed this. It's a true phenomenon.

And the words this kid has come up with - not to mention, she has mimicked all of our awful potty mouths. Bauer starts barking, and Aryn responds with, "BAUER! SHUT UP!"

*Face palm*

Or, my favourite, "What the hell, Mommy?"

*Face palm*

Note to self: watch your language!

And now onto little Lukey Pookey. All in all, he is a MUCH easier baby than Aryn was. And she was fantastic. Seriously. She was a great baby. She had awful reflux, which made her throw up all the time, but she was happy and smiled a lot. She loved to sleep, except at 2am for about 1-2 hours when she wanted to be awake and play and smile. At the time, it didn't bother me as much because I could sleep during the day.

Mind you, I tend to remember things very poorly so for all I know she was the worst baby ever and I've blocked it out of my memory.

But Pookey is fantastic, and in so many ways he's the opposite of his sister. He loves to sleep on his tummy. He hates being swaddled. He is just now starting to kind of like the soother (although he gags and mostly hates it). He doesn't have reflux (although he does have a sensitivity to milk products so I'm on a no-milk diet). He hates being woken up at night, so he sleeps from about 9pm to 3am, eats, then sleeps again until anywhere between 6-7am. And if he's up in the middle of the night, it's because he has a tummy ache and has to poop.... which pisses him off that he has to do this at night.

He is now starting to want to be awake more during the day, but the second he starts moving, like in the carseat or stroller, his eyes roll back into his head and he's out.

But why is he frustrating?


He's a champion nurser. He is already at 10 lbs 3.5 ounces, so that's about ~4 pounds since birth. 3 more pounds and he's doubled his birth weight.

But he's lazy. He wants his tummy full without doing the work. So he birdies it and then cries when his tummy isn't full. Any nursing mother should understand what I mean by that.

And he doesn't want to be awake and not be held. If he's awake, he must be held.

And his cry. He has the meanest cry I've ever heard in a baby. He gets PISSED OFF if he is left alone for longer than 10 seconds. That means not being held.

Dude. Sometimes mommy needs to go to the bathroom. Or deal with your sister. Or eat. Or make meals. Or clean.

Ok, the cleaning one was a joke, obviously.

But he doesn't care. If he could be attached to my body all day/all night, he'd be the happiest baby in the world.

Aryn used to sleep best on her own. She was not a cuddle bug. This kid though, he does like to snuggle. And I'm not a snuggler, so he makes it known quite often that I am failing as a mother to him. Snuggles = good mom. Laying down on my own = bad mom.

*face palm*

Life is exciting and frustrating and wonderful. Kids are a lot of work. Kids are amazing. Kids are annoying.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Natural Disaster

As a mom, I have become accustomed to a certain type of disaster. Namely, when out and about, you hear the sound and instantly know that your child is the smell you smell in the store. It is a disaster regardless, because it never fails that when that situation arises, you find yourself without extra underwear, diapers, wipes or clothes. It never fails. Once, Aryn got super sick "down there" just as I was about to put her in her carseat. I had to change her in the back of the car. No garbage bag to throw clothes in, so I had to use a bag from our shopping trip, and somehow in the excitement poop got everywhere. And then I had no extra clothes so she went home naked.


Or how about the 'poosplosion' that goes all the way up your baby's back? So not only is he dirty, but so is his carseat or the stroller, plus his clothes, and you're in a public place and cannot go and give said baby a bath.


Then there's the natural disasters, when Mother Nature decides she's super pissed off at us and wants to show us who's boss. And she releases her anger tenfold. That's what happened the last few days in Southern Alberta.

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Note: I did not take these photos. I got them off of Twitter and Facebook by local Calgarians.


We in Strathmore are safe. We are east of the city. However, those west and south are needing serious help. If you are reading this and are willing to donate to our aide, we cannot express enough our gratitude:

Please help!

I am grateful for so much now - our home, where we live, and the knowledge that should we ever face a crisis, the kindness of our neighbours is amazing. We have seen so much beauty from humanity that it has somewhat restored my faith that people are kind. In a world where we see so much negativity, it has been amazing to see the opposite.


Thank you, Alberta!

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Saturday, June 15, 2013

Promises, Promises

I've taken up lying to my kid. I know, I know - you are all judging me right now. And I'm ok with that. Since "Pooky Pooky"'s arrival (yes, she calls him "Pooky Pooky," assumingly taken from the nickname I've given him of Lukey Pooky), Aryn has stopped listening. It's like the birth of her brother also birthed a huge mass in her eardrums and caused her to become deaf - but only when we ask her to do things, like "wash your hands" or "please come here." Yet, when you're 2 floors above her and whisper in a closed room the word "popsicle", she can hear that like she's sitting right next to you.

So why have I taken up lying? Because it gets things done. I don't actually follow through with the promise, which makes it lying. "Aryn, pee before your nap and I'll give you a piece of chocolate." "Ok, mommy." Yet no chocolate ever comes. We don't even have chocolate. "Aryn, if you eat the rest of your supper you can have a popsicle." Ok, she usually gets her after-supper popsicle, but in our defence, it's a fight to get her to eat her supper lately. I'm ok with the lies. It keeps us from a fight with a very stubborn toddler and makes whatever situation we're in go much more smoothly. Judge me all you want, but having a happy toddler let me put her sweater on rather than fighting with her while she plays dead on the floor is a much better situation.

Anyone else's kids play dead? They let their whole body go limp and they lay on the floor? It sure causes my 45-pound 2.5 year old feel like she weighs 100 pounds. And when Lukey Pooky is crying, it makes my blood pressure rise to unhealthy levels. Being a mom is stressful!

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She's also taken to repeating the same thing over and over and over again. For instance, "I want a freezee mommy. I want a freezie mommy. I want a freezie mommy. I want a freezie mommy. I want a freezie mommy." Until finally, we yell out "STOP SAYING THAT!" and we usually end up givig her a freezie to make her quiet down. That's great parenting right there - give in to your kids annoyingness with what she wants. We rock.

She also never stops talking. I mean that. Seriously. She never stops talking. Ever. You know that game your parents tried to get you to play with "who can stay quiet the longest?" Aryn loses. Every time. You find yourself becoming *that* parent by saying things like, "Please stop talking for 5 seconds!" and "I'll give you a piece of chocolate if you stop talking!"

See? More lies.

She still says "dump truck" every day and ever day, we laugh. There's just something about a 2 year old saying "Dumb F@ck" that makes you giggle. I'll admit it. Again, amazing parents.

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In my defence, and in the defence of all new parents out there, I've become a narcoleptic. And 3 minutes of quiet while she sucks on that freezie gives me 3 minutes of sleep. Regardless of what Lucas is doing - nursing, awake, sleeping - I close my eyes and BAM - I'm asleep. It's been awesome.

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In all honestly, things have been great. Aryn has really been doing wonderful with her baby brother, and I think we've figured out her 5:30 wakeups. We've turned into "those" white trash people and put duct taped cardboard in her window to keep her room black as night in the morning. That only took us 2.5 years to figure out. Great job, us! Yet more proof we're great parents.

Please, no one call child services.

Lucas likes to sleep during the day, and get into his deep sleep at about 3pm until 3am. No matter what I do to try to keep him awake, he prefers to sleep during that time. Cold cloth, foot scratches, baths, whatever doesn't really seem to work. He wakes up, but not for very long. Then 3:30am comes along and he's wide awake for the longest part of the day. And he's not happy about it, and I'm not happy about it, and we both cry. I'll admit it - I've cried. When it's 4:30am and you've already been awake for an hour and your infant is pissed off about something, you just cry. And that's ok. As long as the tears stop, and they do - for both of us.

My friend Cathy truly believes there's a way for zombies to actually happen. I now agree - just, instead of coming to life from the dead and coming to eat peoples brains, it's new mothers walking around after nights of no sleep and just trying to find a quiet bed to lay down in. That makes the Walking Dead a little less scary, don't you think?

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I am loving learning about this new little man in my life. He frets. No real reason behind it; he just seems like he's fretting for some reason or another. His eyebrows have stress lines on them when he's not fretting and it makes me smile. He has a perfectly shaped head, and has a beautiful little face. He has wonderful blonde hair and I wonder what he's going to look like when he's older. 

And people say "enjoy them while they're young because it goes so fast." I know it does - I have a 2 year old. So we're enjoying him. He's most likely the last infant in our house, and I'm soaking him in. And it's ok to be excited for the more independent time in the first year - when you can lay them on the floor and they'll giggle and squeal at the lamest of toys. But until then, I'll cuddle this little guy, pray against colic, and hope he is a great sleeper like his sister (minus the early-morning wake-ups, please!). 

Let me just put my head down for a second.... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The end DID come!

Well, it's been almost 3 weeks since I stopped being pregnant. Yes, you read that right. I did not say "since I gave birth" or "since Lucas' arrival." I am celebrating more the end of the pregnancy. No more extreme itchiness. No more stuffed up nose (well... sorta). No more Braxton Hicks and pre-labour and serious uncomfortableness. No more.

It's all replaced with snuggles and all-night-nursing due to a days/nights mixup haha!

I'd like to introduce to you all Lucas Peter Angelo (don't get me started on the second middle name...), born on May 16 at 6:18am, weighing 6lbs 13oz and 19 3/4" long!!

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*WARNING: I like to remember my baby's births so I wrote about it ALL. So, this warning is to my brothers, my dad, my uncles, cousins, male friends, etc. If you want to read about the birth, please click HERE. If you don't want to read about the birth in all its entirety, please do NOT CLICK THE LINK!! I back-posted it so ignore the date!

*WARNING #2: If you want to read about Aryn's birth, click HERE. Again, not suitable for fathers or uncles.

Lucas - we love the name. I wanted Oliver, Ryan vetoed it in the hospital.
Peter - Ryan's middle name.
Angelo - Ryan's great grandpa's name.

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He's perfect and beautiful and doesn't like not being held. He eats a lot, and at 2.5 weeks old, was already at 7.11 3/4 lbs, and 20.5 inches. That means that, for the second time, I am making cream for my babies. Yay!

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A flood of memories has come crashing back to me since Lucas was born. All of the newborn "anomalies" have become my daily "A-ha!" moments. Sleepless nights, milk comas, let-down, rock hard milkies, breast pads, and a new kind of exhaustion. It is fantastic and terrifying. Life with 2 kids is scary. Aryn always has to pee or poop right when I am about to - or in the middle of - nursing. NO ONE (and I literally mean NO ONE) is allowed to hold Lucas except me; Daddy especially.

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Aryn went from being my baby to being a huge, giant leach in a matter of 2 days. She seemed to not only grow up, but grow bigger in the day and a half that I was in the hospital. She loves her brother, gives him lots of kisses and hugs, and loves holding him; but she has acted out, and throws more fits, and doesn't listen even more than she used to not listen.

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She has not, however, stopped going to the bathroom on the potty, and I thank the good Lord for that one!

It's been quite the adjustment, hence the lack of posts, but we'll figure it out. I even had to take the rest of the month off from work last month and my BFF had to do all my work for me, because of how crazy it is when you come home with a new baby! I'm excited and a little nervous about the future!!

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Aryn not only gained a brother, but she gained a whole new vocabulary the last couple of weeks. I don't know what happened, but somehow she just learned every word on the planet. She is saying words I had no idea she's ever heard before! She is quite the little talker (literally does not stop talking. She does NOT.STOP.TALKING!). She knows every animal, every colour (when did she figure out colours?!), I have sang the alphabet song to her almost every night for a few months and she never got it, yet the last 3 days she literally sings the entire alphabet! She knows actions to songs, she even started dancing for us every day. I still don't know where she learned all of this, but it's been so much fun watching her expand her knowledge. See? The Disney Channel is good for something (and people thought it was bad I let my kid watch tv all day while I tried to nap at the end of the pregnancy!)

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I will try to post more. Just have patience!