Natural Disaster

As a mom, I have become accustomed to a certain type of disaster. Namely, when out and about, you hear the sound and instantly know that your child is the smell you smell in the store. It is a disaster regardless, because it never fails that when that situation arises, you find yourself without extra underwear, diapers, wipes or clothes. It never fails. Once, Aryn got super sick "down there" just as I was about to put her in her carseat. I had to change her in the back of the car. No garbage bag to throw clothes in, so I had to use a bag from our shopping trip, and somehow in the excitement poop got everywhere. And then I had no extra clothes so she went home naked.

Disaster.

Or how about the 'poosplosion' that goes all the way up your baby's back? So not only is he dirty, but so is his carseat or the stroller, plus his clothes, and you're in a public place and cannot go and give said baby a bath.

Disaster.

Then there's the natural disasters, when Mother Nature decides she's super pissed off at us and wants to show us who's boss. And she releases her anger tenfold. That's what happened the last few days in Southern Alberta.

Note: I did not take these photos. I got them off of Twitter and Facebook by local Calgarians.

Disaster.

We in Strathmore are safe. We are east of the city. However, those west and south are needing serious help. If you are reading this and are willing to donate to our aide, we cannot express enough our gratitude:

http://www.redcross.ca/

Please help!

I am grateful for so much now - our home, where we live, and the knowledge that should we ever face a crisis, the kindness of our neighbours is amazing. We have seen so much beauty from humanity that it has somewhat restored my faith that people are kind. In a world where we see so much negativity, it has been amazing to see the opposite.

Beauty.

Thank you, Alberta!

Promises, Promises

I've taken up lying to my kid. I know, I know - you are all judging me right now. And I'm ok with that. Since "Pooky Pooky"'s arrival (yes, she calls him "Pooky Pooky," assumingly taken from the nickname I've given him of Lukey Pooky), Aryn has stopped listening. It's like the birth of her brother also birthed a huge mass in her eardrums and caused her to become deaf - but only when we ask her to do things, like "wash your hands" or "please come here." Yet, when you're 2 floors above her and whisper in a closed room the word "popsicle", she can hear that like she's sitting right next to you.

So why have I taken up lying? Because it gets things done. I don't actually follow through with the promise, which makes it lying. "Aryn, pee before your nap and I'll give you a piece of chocolate." "Ok, mommy." Yet no chocolate ever comes. We don't even have chocolate. "Aryn, if you eat the rest of your supper you can have a popsicle." Ok, she usually gets her after-supper popsicle, but in our defence, it's a fight to get her to eat her supper lately. I'm ok with the lies. It keeps us from a fight with a very stubborn toddler and makes whatever situation we're in go much more smoothly. Judge me all you want, but having a happy toddler let me put her sweater on rather than fighting with her while she plays dead on the floor is a much better situation.

Anyone else's kids play dead? They let their whole body go limp and they lay on the floor? It sure causes my 45-pound 2.5 year old feel like she weighs 100 pounds. And when Lukey Pooky is crying, it makes my blood pressure rise to unhealthy levels. Being a mom is stressful!

She's also taken to repeating the same thing over and over and over again. For instance, "I want a freezee mommy. I want a freezie mommy. I want a freezie mommy. I want a freezie mommy. I want a freezie mommy." Until finally, we yell out "STOP SAYING THAT!" and we usually end up givig her a freezie to make her quiet down. That's great parenting right there - give in to your kids annoyingness with what she wants. We rock.

She also never stops talking. I mean that. Seriously. She never stops talking. Ever. You know that game your parents tried to get you to play with "who can stay quiet the longest?" Aryn loses. Every time. You find yourself becoming *that* parent by saying things like, "Please stop talking for 5 seconds!" and "I'll give you a piece of chocolate if you stop talking!"

See? More lies.

She still says "dump truck" every day and ever day, we laugh. There's just something about a 2 year old saying "Dumb F@ck" that makes you giggle. I'll admit it. Again, amazing parents.

In my defence, and in the defence of all new parents out there, I've become a narcoleptic. And 3 minutes of quiet while she sucks on that freezie gives me 3 minutes of sleep. Regardless of what Lucas is doing - nursing, awake, sleeping - I close my eyes and BAM - I'm asleep. It's been awesome.

In all honestly, things have been great. Aryn has really been doing wonderful with her baby brother, and I think we've figured out her 5:30 wakeups. We've turned into "those" white trash people and put duct taped cardboard in her window to keep her room black as night in the morning. That only took us 2.5 years to figure out. Great job, us! Yet more proof we're great parents.

Please, no one call child services.

Lucas likes to sleep during the day, and get into his deep sleep at about 3pm until 3am. No matter what I do to try to keep him awake, he prefers to sleep during that time. Cold cloth, foot scratches, baths, whatever doesn't really seem to work. He wakes up, but not for very long. Then 3:30am comes along and he's wide awake for the longest part of the day. And he's not happy about it, and I'm not happy about it, and we both cry. I'll admit it - I've cried. When it's 4:30am and you've already been awake for an hour and your infant is pissed off about something, you just cry. And that's ok. As long as the tears stop, and they do - for both of us.

My friend Cathy truly believes there's a way for zombies to actually happen. I now agree - just, instead of coming to life from the dead and coming to eat peoples brains, it's new mothers walking around after nights of no sleep and just trying to find a quiet bed to lay down in. That makes the Walking Dead a little less scary, don't you think?

I am loving learning about this new little man in my life. He frets. No real reason behind it; he just seems like he's fretting for some reason or another. His eyebrows have stress lines on them when he's not fretting and it makes me smile. He has a perfectly shaped head, and has a beautiful little face. He has wonderful blonde hair and I wonder what he's going to look like when he's older. 

And people say "enjoy them while they're young because it goes so fast." I know it does - I have a 2 year old. So we're enjoying him. He's most likely the last infant in our house, and I'm soaking him in. And it's ok to be excited for the more independent time in the first year - when you can lay them on the floor and they'll giggle and squeal at the lamest of toys. But until then, I'll cuddle this little guy, pray against colic, and hope he is a great sleeper like his sister (minus the early-morning wake-ups, please!). 

Let me just put my head down for a second.... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

The end DID come!

Well, it's been almost 3 weeks since I stopped being pregnant. Yes, you read that right. I did not say "since I gave birth" or "since Lucas' arrival." I am celebrating more the end of the pregnancy. No more extreme itchiness. No more stuffed up nose (well... sorta). No more Braxton Hicks and pre-labour and serious uncomfortableness. No more.

It's all replaced with snuggles and all-night-nursing due to a days/nights mixup haha!

I'd like to introduce to you all Lucas Peter Angelo (don't get me started on the second middle name...), born on May 16 at 6:18am, weighing 6lbs 13oz and 19 3/4" long!!

*WARNING: I like to remember my baby's births so I wrote about it ALL. So, this warning is to my brothers, my dad, my uncles, cousins, male friends, etc. If you want to read about the birth, please click HERE. If you don't want to read about the birth in all its entirety, please do NOT CLICK THE LINK!! I back-posted it so ignore the date!

*WARNING #2: If you want to read about Aryn's birth, click HERE. Again, not suitable for fathers or uncles.

Lucas - we love the name. I wanted Oliver, Ryan vetoed it in the hospital.
Peter - Ryan's middle name.
Angelo - Ryan's great grandpa's name.

He's perfect and beautiful and doesn't like not being held. He eats a lot, and at 2.5 weeks old, was already at 7.11 3/4 lbs, and 20.5 inches. That means that, for the second time, I am making cream for my babies. Yay!

A flood of memories has come crashing back to me since Lucas was born. All of the newborn "anomalies" have become my daily "A-ha!" moments. Sleepless nights, milk comas, let-down, rock hard milkies, breast pads, and a new kind of exhaustion. It is fantastic and terrifying. Life with 2 kids is scary. Aryn always has to pee or poop right when I am about to - or in the middle of - nursing. NO ONE (and I literally mean NO ONE) is allowed to hold Lucas except me; Daddy especially.

Aryn went from being my baby to being a huge, giant leach in a matter of 2 days. She seemed to not only grow up, but grow bigger in the day and a half that I was in the hospital. She loves her brother, gives him lots of kisses and hugs, and loves holding him; but she has acted out, and throws more fits, and doesn't listen even more than she used to not listen.

She has not, however, stopped going to the bathroom on the potty, and I thank the good Lord for that one!

It's been quite the adjustment, hence the lack of posts, but we'll figure it out. I even had to take the rest of the month off from work last month and my BFF had to do all my work for me, because of how crazy it is when you come home with a new baby! I'm excited and a little nervous about the future!!

Aryn not only gained a brother, but she gained a whole new vocabulary the last couple of weeks. I don't know what happened, but somehow she just learned every word on the planet. She is saying words I had no idea she's ever heard before! She is quite the little talker (literally does not stop talking. She does NOT.STOP.TALKING!). She knows every animal, every colour (when did she figure out colours?!), I have sang the alphabet song to her almost every night for a few months and she never got it, yet the last 3 days she literally sings the entire alphabet! She knows actions to songs, she even started dancing for us every day. I still don't know where she learned all of this, but it's been so much fun watching her expand her knowledge. See? The Disney Channel is good for something (and people thought it was bad I let my kid watch tv all day while I tried to nap at the end of the pregnancy!)

I will try to post more. Just have patience!

The end HAS to be near

I was 38 weeks yesterday. I had Aryn at 38w4d. Logically, I can expect this kid in the next few days. And let me tell you - I am ready. It has not been a very fun last couple of weeks, which is why my blogging has really taken a back seat. Which is ok, because I'm the least hilarious person in the world right now. I'm like Fun Bobby when he stops drinking; some of you may get that analogy, and for those of you who do, you are my kind of people.

It's been 2 weeks of contractions, no sleep, lack of patience, and Braxton Hicks. You may notice I mentioned contractions and Braxton Hicks. Yep. I'm that talented.

Oh and itching. I dreamed of scratching my skin off with a knife last night. It was glorious.

I'm thinking of becoming a speaker to kids about teen pregnancy. I'll paint them quite the beautiful picture that will lock those chastity belts for at least 10 years. You're welcome, parents.

To make matters even more awesome, Aryn woke up this morning stuffed up, runny nose, sneezing, and all around miserable. It's making life even more awesome. Perhaps 5 days in the hospital with the baby is just what I need. It'll be like a vacation! People bringing me food, laying in bed all day, having glorious naps whenever I want... sign me up! My phone rang? Whoops! Missed it! Nap time!

In all honesty, I am not looking forward to my 3-5 day hospital stay. When Aryn was born, I wanted to go home 3 hours after she was born. I hate the hospital. Mind you, this time I am paying whatever they want for a private room (first mistake I made with Aryn...), but a few days with a newborn, and nurses who know everything and tell you you're doing everything wrong, just isn't on my list of things to do this week. But, with his situs inversus, we will be there for a few days to make sure all of his insides are working well before we can go home. And then, if things aren't working perfectly, we'll have to be in there even longer.

I don't believe that'll happen though.

Plus, I am going to miss Aryn like crazy. She is sitting next to me right now, singing some random song she made up and it's making me laugh. I don't even know how to type it to explain it, but picture the funniest song ever, and that's what's happening right now.

Oh and she's learned the word "dump truck." Only, it doesn't sound like "dump truck." It sounds like "dumb fuck." And it makes me laugh. Every single time. When I'm exhausted and angry that I'm still pregnant, I ask Aryn to say "dump truck" and bam - smile and laughter.

In fact, that's what Ryan got me for Mother's Day. "Aryn, say 'dump truck' for your mom!"

Best gift ever.

So even though she's miserable and driving me insane today, I've made her say "dump truck" 13 times and it's only 9:30am. Score 1 for mom.

Hopefully, the next time I post I can introduce you to baby boy. Who is still nameless, by the way. If you've been following my blog for long enough, you'll know that with Aryn we had her name picked out at 6 months, and I was referring to her as "Aryn" in the blog. This time around, we've got nothing. We have a list of 5 names to bring to the hospital, but none of them I'm 100% sold on. Each has a pro/con. The names I do love, Ryan vetoes. It's super frustrating, especially since all the names I love are awesome... circa Rachel's names over Ross's names. Yep, another Friends reference. You're welcome, 1990s!

Come onnnnn, baby!

Dog pee, hair sand and angels

As if I had nothing else to do in my life right now (you know, except try to get off the couch without having to pee and having nice long 2-hour naps in the afternoon), we woke up this morning to a very wet bed. First thought: did my water break? We quickly ruled that out - don't worry.

Second option: our ceiling is leaking. At the same time, Ryan and I looked up at the ceiling. Dry. I won't lie: we were confused.

We then both looked back at the bed. Bauer wasn't there, as he jumps off the bed quite quickly after he hears any inkling of Aryn moving in her room. The poor kid moves and BAM! - Bauer jumps off the bed to run downstairs to hide. It's not even like she bothers him. She says hi, wants to pet him, and then goes on to something else. But because he's a grumpy old man (at 5 years old), and he just hates her.

His blanket was damp, and he was sleeping at or about the same place the big wet spot was. So, quick diagnosis: Bauer peed the bed. It didn't smell like pee. It didn't even look like pee. It looks like water. There was no water glass or cup in or around our bed. There is no other way the water could get there unless Bauer, somehow, put it there.

Maybe he was licking the bed? Maybe he was panting? Maybe he was drooling? Maybe he was dreaming of swimming in a lake and miraculously created water out of thin air?

... is he Jesus?

Maybe I should be nicer to him...

Regardless of what that water was or how it got there, we decided the same thing: the comforter needed to be cleaned.

So I posted on Facebook, asking where I can wash a king sized comforter. I knew of the local laundromats, but the last thing I wanted to do at 9 months pregnant was hang out at a laundromat for 3 hours with a toddler while my comforter got washed and dried.

Angel moment: someone I barely know (she is my mom's hairdresser) knocked on my door at just before 9am asking to take my comforter. I was so confused and made her repeat herself 4 or 5 times before I understood that she was coming to do something kind for a somewhat stranger. Shocked, I gave her the comforter.

By the way: it is possible to over-thank someone before it gets annoying. I discovered that today.

It is also possible to shock the crap out of someone with kindness. I discovered that, as well, today.

Not long after this happened, we went over to a friends house for a play date. I have said this before, and I will say it again: I have the best baby group ever. The women in my baby group are fantastic. I never leave feeling judged or that my kid is hated or bad or that I'm doing a bad job raising her. I always leave refreshed, grateful and exhausted. As does my daughter.

Today was no exception.

Although, she did leave filthy. I mean, black and brown and filthy. Aryn discovered sand today. And it was love at first sight. Mama, on the other hand, was not so in love with it.

First thing we did when we got home (after a 5-minute-crying-uncontrollably drive home) was go in the bathtub. I had to carry my 40lb toddler up the stairs while she cried, absolutely distraught that I ended her play date and so overly exhausted that she couldn't calm down long enough to just fall asleep. Into the bathtub she went. Quick black shower, hair washed, and thrown into bed where she literally fell asleep within seconds.

There is sand everywhere still.

And I don't even care.

There are lots of battles between my daughter and myself, from forcing her to pee before we leave the house to letting me flush the toilet post-poop before I go into the bathroom (you know, cuz I hate the smell), to making her put on a damn sweater when it's cold out and she is refusing. I decided today that hair sand was not going to be a fight. And I want to run to Walmart and buy some sand right now for her brand new sand table that I bought at a garage sale for $30.

Yep, that's right. $30. I am the Garage Sale QUEEN.

Oh, I forgot to mention: Pull-Ups suck ass. Seriously. She wears them to bed because she pees in her sleep, which she did today. And instead of keeping the pee inside said Pull-Ups, the pee went everywhere in her bed. So at 6:20pm, I have done - technically - 3 loads of laundry due to one of my two 'children' peeing on the bed.

It's not wrong to have a little wine while pregnant, right??