Sleep and pee

Sleep eludes me. It's been a very difficult month. From getting 'The News' about Baby Boy, to Aryn's sleep protest, to having to get up 2-3 times a night for bathroom breaks, I'm walking around a little like a zombie.

Have I mentioned lately how much I do not like being pregnant?

I read a fellow blogger's last post about "A Letter to New-Mom Me". It was hilarious in its usual way, but I couldn't help but want to give her the "mean look" at her idea that one day, I'll have a tough time getting my teenager out of bed. Casein point:

This morning, at 1:30am, Ryan and I were awoken by Aryn, singing loudly in her bedroom. I jumped out of bed, raced to her room, where her light was on, her sound machine off, her pillows on the floor, her babies at the head of the bed with her, and 8 books surrounding her.

"Hi, mommy!"

"Umm... Aryn... it's 1:30 in the morning. Go to sleep."

"No sleeps, mommy. Where's daddy? Where's Bauer?"

"It's sleep time, Aryn."

I got her all ready for bed again. She had a sad frown on her face, like she was getting into trouble. I told her it's sleep time, I turned off the light and went back to bed. And part of me smirked, thinking, she's going to sleep in nice and good in the morning!

Yeah, right.

6:30am, we were once again awoken by a loudly singing toddler. What song she thinks she's singing is beyond me, but it's really not very good. And she sang, and sang, and sang. She finally came out of her room and her pants were soaked - right through a nighttime diaper.

*lightbulb*

With all the potty peeing she's been doing lately, perhaps she is not sleeping as well, or as late, due to having to go to the washroom? Of course, this would be a much more fantastic option if, when asking her, "Do you have to go potty?" she doesn't scream like a banshee and run in the opposite directions yelling, "No pees! No poops! NO POTTY!"

I am aware that there are not many teenagers in this world with potty problems. And there are kids with meth head parents who seem to figure out one day how to use the potty; even if it's on their own. I know that  one day, we'll look back and think, potty training wasn't all that bad! And I want to remind my future self: it effing sucks.

It wouldn't be so bad if my kid didn't sit in her dad's prized leather La-Z-Boy, legs spread, smile on her face looking right at me, only to pee. And of course, because it's leather, it doesn't just sit there. No, it goes everywhere. It goes into every crack and seam and space in the chair. It leaks onto the floor. And as you try to pick her up oh-so-carefully, there it goes, all over her legs, the floor, the carpet.

This has happened 3 times, and that's just counting yesterday.

I. HATE. POTTY TRAINING.

And if you say, "Aryn! Let's go potty!" we get the normal response, "NO POTTY!" So, I Google more ideas, like "Let's pee!" or "Big girls pee on the potty!" or I even broke out a syringe and put her baby on the potty and sprayed water out of the syringe to trick my kid into thinking her baby went potty on the potty.

"Ok, your turn!"

"AAAAHHHH!! NO POTTY MOMMY!!!'

#fail

So, the question now is: do we quit potty training? Do we hold off? Do we keep going, just with less pressure? Do we tape a toilet to this kids' butt??

I personally like the last one.

We're trucking along. She pees better in the potty when we're not paying attention to her. Which, with the weird wake-up times this kid has been throwing at us lately, is much more often than not since I can't peel myself up off the couch half of the time.

She sure does expect her candy post-potty, though. Guess I should stop sneaking them myself.