A little terrified

I have been informed by my doctor that - under no circumstances - am I allowed to get an epidural when I go into labour. Thanks. Could have told me that about 4 months ago! I have a hole in the middle of my spinal cord and this "flap" (yes, that's the technical term) that stops the fluid in your spine from going into your brain is broken. Soooo my spinal fluid actually circles my brain a bit. Apparently this is NOT uncommon and NOT anything to worry about. However, in the incident that I get an epidural, it will actually numb not only the lower half of my body, but it could also numb my brain and ... well, she used words that scare me so all in all, no epidurals.

Sooooo, me: the person who whines when Ryan pinches her or cries for an hour when she stubs her toe or complains about ANY sort of pain, will actually have to endure labour with NO pain medication.

Thanks, God!!

I am freaking out only a little. I decided to contact a girl I grew up with in Northern Alberta, who actually is on her 4th child and has done her last 3 births at home and with a doula and she is going to coach me and give me all the necessary information I need. I am so relieved and I feel a LOT better since we decided to meet next week. I can't wait!

~

When I got engaged, I prayed everyday (or, at least when I remembered!) to God that He would give me a beautiful wedding day. No snow, no blizzard. I told Him that He made me wait a long time for my husband so I expect this to be my reward - a beautiful wedding day (and... a wonderful husband...). Well, the week before my wedding was cold, rainy, snowy, dreary. The day after my wedding it snowed. The day OF my wedding was +18C.

I am going to use the same tactic as my wedding day. God made me wait 2 years for a baby. He made me endure the loss of one child, and a year of heartache. So, my reward: an easy birth. None of this pushing for 2 hours crap. Nope, not for me. I am honestly going to *try* to BELIEVE for this!

Uh oh...

So my Saturday has consisted of me creating a baby registry. Why? Because there is a lot of things that I *want* (not necessarily need!) and I wanted to add up how much everything would cost. Now, mind you - we don't know what we're having yet so I picked 3 different crib themes: one for a boy, one for a girl, and one neutral. So reeeeally, the baby registry isn't a realistic price assumption.

Regardless, it's going to be ridiculous!

I have finally convinced Ryan to make our one spare room the baby room so that I can keep my office in tact. And by "convinced Ryan," I clearly made him think it was completely HIS idea and therefore I got what I've been wanting from the beginning. 3 years of marriage has taught me well!!

We need basics:
- Crib (but what colour????)
- Dresser (but what colour????)
- Crib set/blankets (again, what colour????)
- A stroller/car seat
- High chair
- swings and toys and vibrating thingies and burping cloths, and... and... and... and....

It goes on for days!!

I'm a little overwhelmed. Thankfully, we have about 5 months to worry about this all and to get things purchased. April 23rd is my gender ultrasound so I'll be able to narrow down colours.

I can't wait to get rid of the king bed in the spare room and start decorating!!!!!

New Favourite Song (again...)

Here's the better version...

Well I don't drive through the night these days
It's just not a chance I'm willing to take
And I don't spend my money foolishly
Cause there's important things that you're gonna need
You already got a hold on me

And I haven't even heard you cry
I haven't even looked into your eyes
I haven't held you one time but you've changed my life
And I don't even know your name
But I know I'll never be the same
Oh I can't wait to show you you can fly
And I haven't even heard you cry

You might look like your mom, you might look like me
I don't really care as long as you're healthy
And I'll make mistakes there's no doubt
But loves one thing you won't live without
Cause you own a place in my heart now

And I haven't even heard you cry
I haven't even looked into your eyes
I haven't held you one time but you've changed my life
And I don't even know your name
But I know I'll never be the same
Oh I can't wait to show you you can fly
And I haven't even heard you cry

Well I don't even know your name
But I know I'll never be the same
Oh I can't wait to show you you can fly
I'm thinking about first steps and bike rides
And I haven't even heard you cry

Ultrasound Update!

So I got my results today from the Nucal Translucency test last week - everything looks perfect! My doctor even checked the heart again and it's 140, which is right on track. Even though it's lower than it was last time, that is completely normal. If I checked it again tomorrow it could be at 165 so all in all we're good to go!

Gender 4-D ultrasound date is scheduled for April 23rd at 12:40pm - so expect photos and an announcement as to what the baby is!! I can't wait!!!

I am so relieved to know everything is going so well. YAY!!!

Our 3rd Anniversary Weekend

Ok so I am writing this on here because Ryan never reads it and he made me PROMISE not to mention this on Facebook... but he never said anything about my blog soo..... muahahahaha!!

This weekend was our weekend getaway to Banff, courtesy of my parents (who got us a hotel room and couples massage) and Ryan's parents (who paid for our meals)! We are extremely fortunate to have parents so generous and I know we'd never have had a holiday like this if it weren't for them.

So let's start from the beginning....

On Thursday, I got a horrible case of morning sickness. I think I even mentioned that it lasted all day and by 4am on Friday I was up throwing up and was extremely sick the entire day. I even had to get my dad to go buy me gatorade because I was afraid I was getting dehydrated. So I finally broke down and made it to Extra Foods on Friday to buy some more Diclectin because, seriously, it's impossible to survive when you're THAT sick.

(How people go through morning sickness like this while having a small child running around is beyond me. I am going to be praying like crazy the "next time" for less severe morning sickness because I might actually start pulling out my hair otherwise!)

Aaanyways, so I started Diclectin at about 4pm on Friday with a mild overdose to make it through the night. By Saturday I was groggy and foggy-headed. If you've ever had Gravol and had to stay awake, you'd know what I mean. So at about 10am Ryan and I headed on the road for Banff, making a quick stop at CrossIron Mills mall in Calgary to walk around and check things out (lo and behold, my darling "cheap" husband spent more money than I did! Woo!).

When we finally made it to Banff, we checked into our beautiful hotel room (complete with heated tiled floors, steam shower - which I wasn't allowed to use, fireplace, and gorgeous view). We had massages booked for 3:30, so we made our way into town and found the spa.

DISCLAIMER: When I booked the massage, the woman asked me "would you prefer male masseuses or female?" Naturally, I said female. End disclaimer.

So we are sitting in the waiting room and then 2 men come out and ask us if we're Denise and Ryan. I would have loved to have seen our faces. I'm fairly certain our mouths were on the ground as we stared at these 2 men. The older man, my masseuse, has a gray mustache that was waxed on the tips as an elegant feature. He was - give or take - 65. Ryan's masseuse was a younger man, probably early 30s, overweight, and looked just about as excited as we did with this plan.

1 hour later, Ryan and I left the massage parlour and made our way back to our hotel for a prompt shower to wash off the "man rubbing", as my husband so eloquently puts it.

Massages by dudes. Seriously??

But it made for a hilarious story! We then went for supper at Giorgio's (Italian) and although I'm sure it was very good, by then I was getting quite nauseous again that all I wanted to do was go back to the hotel, put on my sweat pants and get into bed. Which is precisely what we did. We couldn't go walk around, we couldn't go to a pub, we couldn't even leave the vehicle at the hotel and walk to the restaurant! I felt so bad for poor Ryan but he's a trooper and very understanding.

I for one can not WAIT for this damn morning sickness to be over!!!!!

All in all it was a very nice, relaxing weekend. It was nice to sleep in a bed without Bauer hogging 2/3 of the bed (seriously, he's a bed hog!) and it was even nicer not being woken up at 5am by Bauer giving himself a bath. I slept through the entire night except for 1 quick pee break (which is a new record for the last 3 months!).

I am SO glad we went away, but I hope we can do it again before the baby comes when we can actually DO things and enjoy where we are rather than me searching for the nearest toilet. Hopefully that comes sooner than later!!!

Thank you again Mom and Dad, Butch & Diana for a wonderful weekend away. We definitely needed it and we are both SO grateful!! Well... Ryan is less grateful since he had to get "rubbed down by a dude."