Saturday, December 15, 2012


In light of what happened in Newtown yesterday, I can't help but wonder what a parent can do while raising a child to create an adult able to do such a horrendous thing, such as killing anyone - let alone children. What was done to those who sexually abuse? What was done to those who abuse women?

I yelled at Aryn this morning. Why? Because she was eating dog food. Then she left the dog food and proceeded to lick the window on our shelving unit. Then she walked over to her table and flipped it on its side. Then she threw her boots straight across the room. Then she tried to hit Bauer. Then she dumped all of her toys on the floor.

She was, by all accounts, a human tornado. Destruction was eminent in her path.

So, in my frustrated, pregnant mess of a mom, I yelled at her. I yelled at her to stop, to take a break, to calm down, to throw me a fricken bone.

I'd like to think the dramatic, "Oh my goodness, my mom is the meanest mom EVER" Academy Award performance displayed by my child does not mean that one day she will take another human life. I like to think when she gets in trouble for licking the bugs off the front of the car, she won't one day end up in a straight jacket in an insane asylum (although, I'm pretty sure licking dead bugs would be classified as "insane." Even by 2-year old qualifications.)

So what causes this kind of action? I read the mother of the killer was a gun nut. I read the mother of this crazed boy took her kids to gun practice. Does this account for his actions? Does teaching a child how to shoot a gun one day teach them it's ok to kill 18 children?

I sure as hell hope not.

The old adage, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people," is getting on my nerves. Someone walking into a school carrying a fist of rage or a pocket knife is going to kill a lot less people than walking into a school carrying 3 loaded guns. Are we coming to an age where we need to add metal detectors at every public door? I won't lie; I'm nervous to go to a movie theatre, the mall, the store, a school... in fear that someone I love could be shot. And that's the key word: shot. I'm not scared of someone walking into a theatre and yelling at me. Guns do kill people; they're just held by people who want to kill these people.

Yes, guns kill people; and so do vehicles, and fists, and knives, and planes, and falling down the stairs. My daughter's Barbie got decapitated by being thrown in a fit of rage when I wouldn't get her have a third candy cane. I am sick of humans blaming death on something else. It's always something else's fault. Someone else's fault. It's never YOUR fault.

Sure, you were molested as a child. That's not an excuse for molesting other children. So you were beaten as a child, that doesn't give you the right to beat your wife. I don't think my daughter decapitating her Barbie means one day she will decapitate a human being. And, with shifty eyes, I am praying these words don't one day come back to bite me. Oh and biting; that's a whole other subject but one I don't feel has any merit on future psychotic tendencies.

My heart is broken for everyone in Newtown and all of the families of those lost. I can't imagine my daughter's bedroom being empty and it pains me to think that, since we don't know what will happen in the future, it could happen one day. I can't protect her in a bubble. I can't homeschool her just because I'm terrified that she could get murdered in school. I can't keep her locked up in the basement because I'm scared of drunk drivers or idiots who drive erratically. I can't protect her little life, and as much as that scares me, it's a reality I must face. All I can do is show her every day that I love her unconditionally, even when she's destroying everything in her path, and teach her about God so that she has a beautiful future.


1 comment:

  1. I agree with your pov. Guns do kill people and I'm sick of people poo-pooing the fact that they do. I don't know of any mass murders where the killer wielded a frying pan or a baseball bat. It makes me sad that people get mad and resort to this level of violence against innocent people.


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